


Caduceus gets caught in a crowd

by smol_british_fangirl



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Calming down, Cuddling, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mollymauk lives, Noise Sensitivity, Nonverbal Communication, Panic Attacks, Polyamory, Pumat sol to the rescue, Sensory Overload, crowds, everyone has two hands, nonverbal, post panic exhaustion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:34:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22734160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smol_british_fangirl/pseuds/smol_british_fangirl
Summary: It’s the harvest close festival once more and the nein are all quite excited for it, Cadueceus included. Though things don’t go quite as easily as they’d hoped when Cadueceus gets split off from the group and remembers just how noisy big city’s can be.
Relationships: Caduceus Clay/Caleb Widogast, Caduceus Clay/Mollymauk Tealeaf, Caduceus Clay/Mollymauk Tealeaf/Caleb Widogast, Mollymauk Tealeaf/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 5
Kudos: 212





	Caduceus gets caught in a crowd

**Author's Note:**

> Do I project my experiences onto Cadueceus because I respect him a lot and like to find ways to relate to him even if I’m just making assumptions......ahhh yeh!! 
> 
> Also I need more claylebmauk in my life cause the world is lacking in that category!! So I must serve myself!!

Firbolgs have very sensitive ears, both to touch and to sound. It can be a asset if trying to pick up on hushed words that weren’t meant to be heard or when keeping watch whilst camping, though it does come with downsides; noises that would assault a human ear with their volume are extremely unpleasant to the over sensitive senses of a firbolg.

Caduceus’ life of near solitude in the grove had never really provided him with this problem, the loudest noises he’s heard are those of thunderclaps during rough storms and even then he’d be able to curl up all safe and sound under a thick quilt with a warm cup of tea to keep out the cold of the rain. 

His recent tavels have pulled him far from the tranquility of his past life. The noise of the nein is never unwelcome though: jesters bubbly squeals, after pulling off another attempt at vandalism to promote her god; beaus determined grunts as her and yasha spar, followed by the winded huffs from both woman as they grin at one another; the tell tale jingle of notts many pouches as she scurries past, full of trinkets and curios she’s pilfered from grumpy people and even fjords exasperated groans as he try’s to talk the rest of the nein out of a dangerous plan, one sure to end in their arrest in the best case senario. 

The best noises are those that accompany his partners: the tinkles of Molly’s jewellery as they dance around a camp ground and the focused muttering as Caleb try’s to commit a fact to memory. He loves his new family and all the joyous sounds they make, but sometimes the places he’s visited with them do not bring such enjoyable noises, he is not partial to the ruckus that accompanied the larger settlements.

Often he doesn’t struggle too much in drowning it out, bringing a hand to his hair and using it to fill his ear. The brushing sound against his face would often be enough to stop it from getting overwhelming. The real issue is when he doesn’t realise how loud the world around him is until it’s too late to simply distract himself, doesn’t think about a senario until there’s no escaping it. The harvest close festival is one of these senarios. 

It was a little silly of him not to think, zadash in general had been a shock to all senses with its hustle and bustle but he couldn’t help but be tempted by the excitement of the celebrations, the enthusiasm from the rest of the party had been so infectious as they told him of everything he just had to see and try. 

He was distracted once they got into the thick of it too, keeping his attention on Caleb to make sure it wasn’t getting to much for him. It brought a smile to his face as he notices molly doing the same, the glint of his horns catching Cadueceus’ attention each time he turns to glance at their wizard. 

Everything was going pretty well until his points of grounding disappeared from view; Nott had pulled Caleb towards a stall adorned in fine woolen items, the last he saw of them he could tell that Nott was trying to persuade Caleb to allow her to buy him a new scarf by the flush of the wizards cheeks and the goblins stern expression as she pushed a deep blue bundle into his arms. 

Molly had disappeared very soon after that, a squeal from jester about flower crowns had peaked his attention and with a quick kiss to Caduceus’ cheek he was gone too. 

So here Caduceus stands alone in the centre of the pentamarket, surrounded by strangers voices and foreign ambeints as some unseen force turns up the volume. He freezes as a surge of people pushes past him, their friendly shouts hitting him like a blow to the side of the head and he scews his eyes shut, hands raising to cover ears as their voices cut through him. 

The cover doesn’t help, only altering the definition of the sounds and hurting his ears in another fashion as he tries to push them harder to drown out the rabble. His hands drop as he looks around frantically for some point of grounding, any familiar faces to seek comfort in; all loud noises making him flinch as his whole body goes tense with the fear forced upon him.

Being a good foot taller than the rest of the crowd he draws attention easily and the situation only gets worse. It’s a sea of gasps and calls as fingers are pointed at him from all directions; there’s small children gathering in hoards at his knees and they have even less control than the adults, some even grabbing at his legs and causing him to stumble as they challenge his balance. 

There’s so many people; there’s so much noise; there too much everything. Caduceus goes stiff and draws his hands to his chest, he can feel the stuttering rhythm as his breaths speed up and he does nothing to fight it, then there’s tears. Tears pool in the corners of his eyes and get caught in the fuzz of his cheeks, his gaze falls on nothing he cares to look at as his visions clouds, the pounding sounds of his surroundings draw the tears out till he’s openly weeping and his body trembles like he’s stood in a winter storm. 

Luckily his growing group of onlookers suddenly don’t seem as interested at the sight of the crying firbolg because a spectacle is never quite as fun to ogle at when it starts weeping, the parents of the enthusiastic children pull them away by their sleeves and shouting stops as they stare awe struck at a point behind caduceus, well at several points to be precise.

“Alright folks that’s enough, I think this man could use a break.” The Pumat sol’s voice would be so very welcomed if he weren’t standing so close, he’d spoken at a volume meant to address the crowd and one causes caduceus to flinch with a pained cry as it reaches him, pressing his hands to his ears in reflex. 

Two of the Pumats step forward and begin to shew away Caduceus’ onlookers. The third Pumat holds onto Caduceus with a strong grip and directs him away from the hoards of joyful people towards the well painted front of the invulnerable vagrant. Caduceus barely pays attention to their journey, thoughts drowned out by the carcophany of the streets and the struggle to calm his own breaths, barely even aware that their travelling until he suffers through the high pitched tinkle of the bell above the door and is nudged into the darkened interior of the shop. 

The change in volume isn’t immediately felt but as it sinks in Caduceus is ready to fall to his knees and start pitifully thanking the wild mother for alowing him to find shelter. It doesn’t quite bring calm with it though, any noises that are sudden or even just slightly louder than comfortable still pull his shoulders tight and make his fur stand up like the spines of a porcupine. His breathing is still a rapid collecting of inconsistent gasps that he will later compare to a pattern all to commonly heard from Caleb.

He’s still very much in the throws of whatever this is and oh does he wish it would disperse, or at least lessen its hold on his senses a little; he’s almost about to start praying, no thoughts given to the fact that he can barely put the words together in his mind when the Pumat that had brought him here addresses him and diverts his tearful gaze from the well polished floor.

“You weren’t lookin’ so good there, thought you could use a time out.” He explains, slowly but not without a hint of his usual joviality. Caduceus nods but turns away from the other firbolg to hide the grimace dressing his features as Pumats voice grates against his ear drums.

He doesn’t want to just be here. He isn’t sure how much more help the Pumats can provide by themselves - he needs someone else, two very special someone elses. He knows very little in this moment but he is absolutely sure that he needs his partners as just the thought of them keeps his feet steady.

When he tries to form words they get split and confused with one another. Caduceus cant find the strength to push them past his lips as the horrible thought of bringing more noise hits him, but he can’t stand the discomfort any more, he really really needs his partners.

So he stumbles over to the desk on now shaking legs, hand already outstretched to grasp the quill lying on a blank scrap of parchment. Like the legs that carried him to the desk his hands wobble the quill and turn his usually a little unkempt writing into a loose scrawl that stretches across a lot more of the page than he intended. 

The words he manages are no feat of literary genius: “find mollymauk and Caleb, please.”

But Pumat seems to get the picture as he nods and trundles into the back and returning with a wire stretched between his to fingers that is very similar to the one used by Nott and Caleb to message each other.  
“The ginger grubby one and the shiny teifling?” Pumat asks and caduceus reply’s with a sharp nod, stepping back to press himself against a tall shelf in an attempt to lessen the effect of Pumats voice. He closes his eyes again and tries to focus on the rythm of his breath though there is little rhythm to it anymore, he can’t think of much else to do.

“Alright, now you wanna go somewhere a bit more private? I’ve got a room upstairs, you can wait there until your friends get here.” Pumat says after a couple minutes, seemingly completing his task because he has slipped the wire into his pocket and is making his way towards caduceus. Cadueceus lets out an exhausted sigh as Pumat leads him towards the stairs nestled at the very back of the shop, the idea of being alone with no one else to make noise is a heavenly idea. 

Pumat doesnt follow him up to Caduceus’ relief but does point out that there are blankets he’s welcome to use and that the quilts are very good for blocking out noise. Caduceus barely acknowledged him as he practically falls against the door to open it, stumbling into the darkened room with a groan. He collapses onto the first peice of furniture he can find, luckily for him it is a bed -must be one of the Pumats as it can actually acomodate his entire body without him having to curl up - he fumbles around in the dark and finds a heavy blanket near his feet, it’s textured in little sections and the stitching is thick and uneaven.

He pulls it up over his head and lets out his first full breath in a while as the quilt weighs against him, it smells of dust and ink with hints of a more rust metallic sent. It smells like Caleb’s shirt and it feels like Molly’s coat. 

He tucks as much of himself as he can under it, knotting his hands in the smooth silken hem and burying his face in a section covered in little specks of ink that must have been spilled on it. And he breathes, deep, slow breaths as the calming familiarity washes over him, focused on nothing outside his little blanket cave.

The next thing he rememberers are hushed voices and a damp patch under his cheek. The voices are recognisable even though he can’t quite make out the words their saying, they are the only voices he’s wanted to hear all morning.

He yawns loudly and the voices stop and there’s the sound of a disgruntled mew followed by a quiet scolding from Caleb, Pumat must have explained as much as he could to them by how gently Caleb spoke. Caduceus pulls the blanket away from his face but keeps it tucked over his ears (a little apprehensive to expose them fully since he’s unsure of how much sound he can cope with at the moment) the first thing he sees are the soft smiles of molly and Caleb who are knelt at his bedside and he can’t help the happy grumble that rises in his throat as Molly’s leans in to brush the tangled hairs from his face and presses a kiss on his now exposed forehead. 

Caleb is the first to speak, shuffling forward to take Caduceus’ hand in the one that isn’t clasped tightly around Molly’s.  
“Mein leibling I am so sorry I left you alone. I was so foolish i shouldn’t have been so careless, you shouldn’t have needed to go through that, not when I could Just been there and helped you.” His tone is thick with guilt and caduceus now sees that his tender smile is accompanied by a brow furrowed in concern. Caduceus gives his hand a reassuring squeeze as Molly shifts to rub his shoulder before he can continue his apologies.

“Sunflower, please don’t feel bad, neither of you knew that it’d happen and it’s not your fault.” Caduceus try’s to reassure the pair who are both wearing their shame without attempt to hide it.

“But dear we should have been looking out for you like you look out for us, maybe if we’d been there it might not have happened or we could have helped when it did, I am so so sorry you had to go through that by yourself.” Molly retorts with a soft voice but caduceus can tell there’s more emotion behind the words than he’s letting himself show. Caduceus knows that there’s no use rationalising with either of their current self hatred and honestly he doesn’t think he’s got much time before he drifts off again so decides on the only course of action he can think of.

“Come here, both of you.” He tells them as he rolls onto his back and spreads his arms out to make space for both of them on the bed. They hesitate for a moment before Cadueceus convinces them with a soppy grumble, looking at them with jokingly pleading eyes as he shudders feigning a chill. 

Soon enough there is a pile of coats on the floor and a Caduceus sandwich on the bed, Molly and Caleb pressed either side of him with molly opting to bury his face in Caduceus’ neck and gently scratch behind his ears -an act the draws a deep hum from the back of his throat -. Caleb is occupying himself by sliding his hand under Cadueceus shirt running his fingers through the thick pink hair trailing down the firbolg’s torso, he scratches at the skin bellow it and Caduceus’ chest arches up to press against his hand. Caduceus feels very pleased with himself when his reactions elicit soft chuckles from both of his partners. 

The last thing he can recall before drifting back into a calm and contented sleep is the drowsy conversation between the two men drapped across him.

“Do you think we should give him the teas when he wakes up?” Caleb asks, Caduceus can feel the words against his side.

“I think that’d be lovely. I wish he could have been there to pick some out himself, he would have really liked that stall.” Molly reply’s moving his face away from Caduceus’ as not to speak directly into his ear. Caduceus feels Caleb’s not of agreement.

“We need to be more present in future, I want to be able to help him as much as he helps us.” Caleb says, his voice lowering a little with shame. Caduceus then feels molly shifting and hears the sound of kissing after Caleb lifts his face to meet Molly’s.

“And we shall be. He’s big but really he’s just as delicate as the rest of us.” Molly spectaculates And once again Caleb nods to show his agreement.

“And we love him.” Caleb musses as a yawn threatens to interupt him. 

“That we do, we really love him, and him and I really love you.” Molly reply’s with a purr, first pressing a kiss to Caduceus’ cheek and then to Caleb’s closest hand.

“I love you too.” Caleb mumbles before Caduceus feels him shuffle to bury his face in his chest. Molly follows suit and returns to his position pressed into Caduceus neck and it does not take long before all three of them are dozing softly as Caduceus’ loud snores fill the room.


End file.
